542
edits
Shockerboyism: Difference between revisions
→Further Reading
mNo edit summary |
|||
| (9 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown) | |||
| Line 10: | Line 10: | ||
''You're not going to leave, are you? You're just going to test my nerves. Alright, I see how it is. But know that I am not happy with you. I don't get paid enough for this s***...'' | ''You're not going to leave, are you? You're just going to test my nerves. Alright, I see how it is. But know that I am not happy with you. I don't get paid enough for this s***...'' | ||
==An Introduction to Shockerboyism== | |||
Shockerboyism is the cult-like religion founded by [[Peppykiss395]] in honor of the one, true great leader; [[Shockerboy686]]! | Shockerboyism is the cult-like religion founded by [[Peppykiss395]] in honor of the one, true great leader; [[Shockerboy686]]! | ||
| Line 18: | Line 18: | ||
''Ok I can't... I can't, no more *wheeze*, I can't keep this up haha. I'm not continuing until I'm paid, until then... *wheeze* you can er.. enjoy the "shockerboying"... *bursts out into laughter*.'' | ''Ok I can't... I can't, no more *wheeze*, I can't keep this up haha. I'm not continuing until I'm paid, until then... *wheeze* you can er.. enjoy the "shockerboying"... *bursts out into laughter*.'' | ||
==The 6 Commandments== | |||
''Ok $20..$40..$80.. tha- oh, um. Well here's the rest of the wiki page, enjoy.'' | ''Ok $20..$40..$80.. tha- oh, um. Well here's the rest of the wiki page, enjoy.'' | ||
| Line 31: | Line 31: | ||
These commandments should be followed at all times if you wish to go to Shockerboy Heaven, but more on that later. | These commandments should be followed at all times if you wish to go to Shockerboy Heaven, but more on that later. | ||
==Views on Afterlife== | |||
Ok 'atheists', what happens when you die? Nothing? BORING! | Ok 'atheists', what happens when you die? Nothing? BORING! | ||
''In a salesman voice'' | |||
But, thanks to our all-new patented 'Shockerboy Life', that nothingness turns into paradise! | But, thanks to our all-new patented 'Shockerboy Life', that nothingness turns into paradise! | ||
| Line 49: | Line 50: | ||
Now, who wouldn't want that? Aside from everyone I know bar a few people, I think we can say that this is MUCH better than being a boring atheist or believing in those other, dumb religions. | Now, who wouldn't want that? Aside from everyone I know bar a few people, I think we can say that this is MUCH better than being a boring atheist or believing in those other, dumb religions. | ||
===What you can expect=== | |||
Paradise. | Paradise. | ||
===What you will experience=== | |||
Hell. | Hell. | ||
==Further Reading== | |||
What did you expect to find in this section anyhow? You really thought there was more to read about this dumb religion thing? HA! No no no, you see the money they paid me only covers the basic wiki page. But seeing as you're down here already, I may as well treat you to some 'further reading' aye? | What did you expect to find in this section anyhow? You really thought there was more to read about this dumb religion thing? HA! No no no, you see the money they paid me only covers the basic wiki page. But seeing as you're down here already, I may as well treat you to some 'further reading' aye? | ||
| Line 63: | Line 64: | ||
Ok so here's the question: Why wasn't Leonado di Caprio in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies? | Ok so here's the question: Why wasn't Leonado di Caprio in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies? | ||
I think he would have been great! I mean it's not the first time he would have been on a ship - hell he was on the Titanic, or that yacht from Wolf | I think he would have been great! I mean it's not the first time he would have been on a ship - hell he was on the Titanic, or that yacht from Wolf of Wall Street (great film, go watch). He would have gotten that Oscar so much quicker! Swap Orlando Bloom for Leonado and you got yourself a 10/10 film experience - you'll just need to make sure he doesn't say any dumb one-liners, like that "I'm the king of the world" nonsense. But hey, we can keep dreaming. | ||
==Further further Reading== | |||
Stuck around huh? Hmm... | Stuck around huh? Hmm... | ||
| Line 71: | Line 72: | ||
Well seeing as I am the writer, and you have no influence on what I write here, I'm going to share a little poem with you. | Well seeing as I am the writer, and you have no influence on what I write here, I'm going to share a little poem with you. | ||
An independent thinker, | ''The world spins ever faster,'' | ||
yet our lives are not our own | |||
7 Billion people, | ''yet feels slower just for me'' | ||
yet we stand alone | |||
''Standing in the spotlight,'' | |||
''yet there is nothing left see'' | |||
''An independent thinker,'' | |||
''yet our lives are not our own'' | |||
''7 Billion people, '' | |||
''yet we stand alone'' | |||
''We strive for perfection,'' | |||
''yet we fail to achieve'' | |||
''Disproven facts,'' | |||
''yet we continue to believe'' | |||
''We aim to make a difference,'' | |||
''yet we have so little to give'' | |||
''Every second is a lifetime,'' | |||
''yet I have had no time to live'' | |||
yet | |||
I hoped you enjoyed it. | I hoped you enjoyed it. | ||